Preparation for the meeting and active listening can make a significant difference in the conversation for a major gift, according to Ciconte and Jacob.  

Here are their thoughts:

* Anticipate the kinds of questions that may be asked. By thinking of the questions before hand, you will be better prepared to answer with confidence and without hesitation.
* Keep the donor’s needs in mind. You can’t ignore what motivated the donor in the first place. Knowing the reasons why they want to make a gift can actually help your ask strategy.
* Limit the talking from the development team. It’s easy to go from explaining the organization’s programs and mission to completely taking over the entire meeting. Allow for the donor to speak.
* Think about a tag team. Ciconte and Jacob explained that it’s hard to speak and listen at the same time. Plus, two heads are usually better than one.
* Focus on what is being said. Sometimes people just hear what’s going on. * You have to listen when it comes to these meetings.
* Get active. Lean toward the speaker, smile when appropriate, maintain eye contact and take notes.
* Keep your emotions in check. Phrases, issues and attitudes can trigger emotional reactions, but make sure you stay cool and focus on the conversation.
* Do not stop listening once you have a response. You may want to make your point, but don’t let your thoughts overshadow what the person is saying. Stay in the moment. 
* Repeat and summarize what you hear. That way the conversation remains clear and you can be sure of what the donor is trying to convey.
* Be clear. Ask for clarification if you mishear or don’t understand your donor.